serenity

This is the prayer of my heart on this gloomy day:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
{Reinhold Niebuhr}

Amen.
B

long time, no see

It's been a while. A lot has happened in the past 2 1/2 months. A lot. In the Bible, Luke tells us that when Mary gave birth to Jesus, instead of giving a huge speech in chapter 2 and letting everyone know exactly how she felt and what she thought about everything, it simply says, "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart" (Luke 2:19). I have a hundred things running through my head and heart, so I decided to take a page from Mary's book, and instead of laying it out for all to see, I am choosing to ponder it and try to decipher what it all means for my life first. I think God has things he wants me to learn before I decide to use my experiences to teach someone else {astounding thought, isn't it?} 

In the meantime I saw this sweet prompt on my friend Meredith's blog and thought I'd play along. 

"Things that say a lot about people:
The way in which they treat a waiter/waitress
How they feel about the weather

Whether they dog ear pages or highlight in books
Fingernails
And hands in general
Their preferred creative outlet
How much they dread/enjoy talking on the phone
Whether or not they drink coffee
If they ever forget to eat
How honest they are with themselves (and others)
If they correct your grammar
And whether or not they get nervous before haircuts."

(Via Carlotta's blog)

>>The way they treat a waiter/waitress>>

I waited tables through college so I am very sensitive to the way I treat servers when I go out to eat. That being said, I am also very aware of good vs. bad service at restaurants and I will tip accordingly. I don't like a server to hover, but I also don't want to have to send a search party when I need more water or I'm ready to leave. I try my best to treat my waiters as though they have a story outside of taking my order and bringing me my food. I'm in the food service business now and I know how awful it feels to have someone treat you as if your only purpose is to serve them. Yuck. 

>>How they feel about the weather>>

The weather and seasons have a direct effect on my disposition. Winters are tough on me with less sunshine to enjoy. The rain may be calming for some, but when I have too many days of clouds in a row I start to feel it deep in my soul. 

>>Whether they dog eat pages or highlight in books>>

I'm a major book-writer. I need my own copies of books so I can underline, highlight, and write notes to myself in the margins. I feel like I can't truly dive into a book without a pen in my hand. Words are so important to me, so when I read something that stands out to me, I need to capture it somehow before it slips away. I do not dog ear books, though. That's what a bookmark is for. Duh. 

>>Fingernails>>

Currently my nails are pretty short with chipped purple-grey nail polish on them. I do a terrible job of keeping them presentable. Terrible. 

>>Hands in general>>

I have pretty cute little hands. {Did you hear a little bit of pride in that statement?} I wear a ring on each ring finger which often leads to the question: "Are you married?" Nope... just a placeholder for the real deal one of these days. 

>>Preferred creative outlet>>

Yes. Okay, okay there is more to the story than that. I love all things creative but I'd say my current top 5, in no particular order, are: writing, mixed media, crocheting, decorating a room {inexpensively}, and dressing myself. Unconventional? Perhaps.

>>How much they dread/enjoy talking on the phone>>

That really depends on the day and my mood. Sometimes I love a good long phone chat, other times I can be known to politely "decline" a phone call. That seems kind of shameful, but for the sake of being truthful... there you have it. 

>>Whether or not they drink coffee>>

Lately I've been drinking coffee like it's my job. I meet friends for coffee, I drink coffee in the mornings to wake up, I drink coffee to warm up, I have a cup just about every time it's offered to me. Coffee is definitely my friend. 

>>If they ever forget to eat>>

Never. Never ever- I love to eat too much. Sometimes I find myself wandering into the kitchen and rummaging for food when I'm not even hungry but I want to eat. Eating is fun and I'm sad for people who don't enjoy it the way it was intended. Because food was definitely intended as a gift. 

>>How honest they are with themselves (and others)>>

I try to live a transparent lifestyle. I don't think it's very fun to experience things {good or bad} and not share them with other people. I'm a pretty open book. I like to say "I don't lie" and while I'm sure I mess up like anyone else, I try to make that statement as true as possible. {If I didn't, I'd be lying, right??}

>>If they correct your grammar>>

The only thing I find myself correcting on a regular basis is the correct use of "your" vs "you're" and "their" vs. "they're" vs. "there". Those mistakes can drive me nuts.

>>Whether or not they get nervous before haircuts>>

I love to get my hair trimmed. I love having someone else shampoo and rinse my hair for me. It feels fantastic. But big changes make me nervous. I like to wait for the perfect moment to make that commitment. Yes, hair does grow, but it takes a while. 

I've missed sharing the workings of my mind on here. Maybe I'll search for more prompts like this one to get my creative juices flowing and when life starts to feel too chaotic to pause and reflect I'll have a guide to spur me on. If you know of any fun ideas let me know! Have a beautiful week and if you see me out and about, remind me to stop and take a deep breath. That would be such a blessing! 

Love,

B 

quirks

A certain sweet guy left me a little note today while I was at work listing a few of the interesting and unique personality quirks he has come to know {and hopefully love} over the past year. I laughed the entire time I read his list because he was spot on with so many of them! I thought they were good enough to share so here ya go! 

Bethany's Quirks:

She...

...loves the 'small silverware' 

(true story. ask me which fork I want and I'll tell you the small one.)

...believes her left side is her good side 

(correct again)

...prefers to "pancake" instead of "waffle" when holding hands 

(my small group girls can attest to the truth of this one)

...will clean when she's frustrated 

(it really is the only way my dishes get washed)

...prefers to be hot instead of cold

...hates warming up food in the microwave- unless it's a dessert 

(true- microwaved chicken is basically rubber.. gross)

...will raise her eyebrows at anything 

(I honestly can't help it!)

...loves to write with Pilot G-2 0.7 pens 

(close... they are actually 0.38- the skinnier, the better)

...will choose Dunkin' Donuts over any other thing in the world 

(slight exaggeration, but I can see where he's coming from)

...thinks that book jackets get ruined, so you will never see her reading a book 

with a jacket on it 

(true story- my books could write their own book about all of the places they've been.. jackets would get torn to shreds on day 1 of their journey with me)

...loves ranunculus 

(they're beautiful)

...knows the name of just about every plant or flower imaginable 

(not sure where this one came from other than the fact that I kept correcting him on our walk the other evening and I guess he just decided I must know everything since I kept telling him he was wrong... oops)

...HATES to run, but will choose a walk date any day 

(unless I'm having an angry day.. then I might be known to run-walk. yes it's a real thing.)

...has a different outfit for practically every occasion, season, or day of the year 

(it's a bit of a problem.. but that's a different blog post for a different day)

...is very particular about my {Aaron's} appearance 

(I just like it when we match.. that's all.)

...HATES my {Aaron's} blue backpack 

(it reminds me of high school. I generally hate most things that remind me of high school. AND he refuses to zip all of the pockets. not okay.)

...is always in the mood for thrifting 

(see 'has a different outfit for practically every occasion, season, or day of the year')

...will get very emotional about a tv show or character 

(hey now, those are my friends you're talking about. One Tree Hill. enough said.)

...is super sassy to anyone and everyone 

(I'm still not sure if this is a compliment or not)

...will always compliment my {Aaron's} smell if I put on cologne 

(it smells SO good)

...will do anything and everything by herself that she is able to do 

(this one was news to me.. but I don't think he's too far off base)

...can make a mean dinner time and time again. especially her chicken 

(I am known for making perfect chicken every time. Come over sometime to see for yourself!)

...is very intentional and specific with her journal entries; content and styling 

(they are some of my very best friends. and another quirk- handwriting is VERY important to me... so they kind of go hand-in-hand)

...HATES to be called "Beth" 

(yuck. don't even go there.)

So, what do you think? Pretty much hit the nail on the head, huh? Isn't it fun to see yourself through someone else's eyes? A little scary to have someone else paying attention to {and maybe even challenging} the nitty gritty of your personality, but kind of a thrill at the same time.

"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. 
Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account."
Hebrews 4:13

Maybe I'll put together my own list for Aaron and share what I come up with. 

Have a blessed day,

B

well put, my friend..

If you haven't heard the controversy surrounding Chick-fil-A, you probably also haven't seen the sunshine in a while. But if I were you, I'd stay under that rock until the coast is clear. There have been so many opinions, so many viewpoints, and sadly so much hatred flying lately. If you didn't know, I am employed by this hot topic organization. I have worked there for two years prior to the dispute, and I will continue to go to work every day {but Sunday} after it has passed. One of our sweet employees wrote this post and another friend passed it along to me. I thought she did a remarkable job, so instead of sharing my own thoughts at this time, I thought I'd share hers. Great job, my friend.

http://thisisastoryallabouthow.wordpress.com/

"Even if you’re not a Christ-follower,  doesn’t it still suck that we’re having to promote anger and defensiveness and hate to feel supported and justified as equals?  It doesn’t make sense…"

In this sweet girl's own words: May we love like Jesus,

B

Proof.

For King and Country is one of those bands that somehow finds it's way into the mainstream music scene, but has really, really good lyrics. I think the best lyrics are the ones with words that ring true in your heart and even if you can't quite pinpoint the verse, you know it's because they come straight from scripture. 

Here is one of my favorite songs by them (and the lyrics of course):

 

The Proof of Your Love, For King and Country

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, 

I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, 

and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, 

but have not love, I gain nothing."

-1 Corinthians 13:1-3

If I sing but don't have love

I waste my breath with every song

I bring an empty voice, a hollow noise

If I speak with a silver tongue

Convince a crowd but don't have love

I leave a bitter taste with every word I say

So let my life be the proof, 

The proof of your love

Let my love look like You and what You're made of

How You lived, how You died

Love is sacrifice

So let my life be the proof, 

The proof of Your love

If I give

To a needy soul but don't have love then who is poor? 

It seems all the poverty is found in me

So let my life be the proof, 

The proof of your love

Let my love look like You and what You're made of

How You lived, how You died

Love is sacrifice

So let my life be the proof, 

The proof of Your love

When it's all said and done

When we sing our final song

Only love remains

Only love remains

Let my life be the proof, 

The proof of your love

Let my love look like You and what You're made of

How You lived, how You died

Love is sacrifice

So let my life be the proof,

The proof of Your love

-'The Proof of Your Love' by For King and Country

"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, 

I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received."

Ephesians 4:2

Love, 

B

immeasurably more

Every now and then I think the silence on my sweet blog speaks louder than any words I could write. It's been a crazy month. A hard month. An overwhelming month. A full month. And a good month. My mind is on over-drive with so much to think about, so much to remember, so much to wonder.
Here is one of the sweeter things running through my head lately--

My sweet friend Suzi saw this video and was kind enough to share it with me. It awoke something deep inside of me and gave me a renewed hope and dream for what God has in store for me one day. He really does want so much "good" for us. And his "good" is lovely.

Enjoy:

Amanda + Jacob | Feature from Paperback Films on Vimeo.

Doesn't that make your heart smile? A real-life fairy tale. Sometimes I hear of stories like this one and I think it could only come true in the movies... but that is a lie! Amanda and Jacob are very real (even in their dream-like winter wonderland). The love God has for them is my story too, and the way he has knit their hearts together can be my reality one day. Their vows spoke to my inner most being and I loved every word Amanda and Jacob committed to each other. My favorite line of Amanda's is, "I want to thank you for pursuing a heart of God in order to find me. You were worth the wait." And my favorite line of Jacob's is, "I don't need you. Amanda, I hope you see the strength in that statement. I need Christ and him alone... But I choose you.... and because he gave me his wisdom, I chose absolutely flawlessly." Beautiful.

"Look at the nations and watch-- and be utterly amazed. 

For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, 

even if you were told."

Habakkuk 1:5

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, 

according to his power that is at work within us, 

to him be the glory... forever and ever. Amen."

Ephesians 3:20-21

To him,

B

{June 2... Empty.}

Empty. 

Today was graduation day for the Class of 2012. I can not believe my sweet girls have actually graduated. I know I sound sentimental and maybe a little cliche, but I honestly do remember meeting them for the first time almost four years ago. Today came way, way too fast. I was sure I would weep my way through the graduation ceremony, but my eyes remained dry. I thought that today would make me feel empty, as my purpose for moving to Waynesboro walked across that stage... but all day my heart was nothing but full. I got to see 7 of my best friends turn their tassels and toss their caps. I got to celebrate these lovely girls all day long with delicious food and delightful company. I got to catch up with good friends I haven't seen in a while and laugh 'til my sides ached. 

{A little piece of the day: Nichole, Kylie, Alycia, Dani, and me at graduation party #1.}

One of my sweet girls wrote this in a note to me: "Thank you for your leadership, your friendship, your hospitality, your boldness, your words, your example, and your time. These last four years would have been very dark without you in my life." It wasn't always smooth sailing, but those two sentences made the past 5 1/2 years of my life more than worth it. Every hour I spent, every mile I drove, every tear I cried.. worth it. 

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. 

Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, 

because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 

1 Corinthians 15:58

"Let us not become weary in doing good, 

for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Galatians 6:9

Today was a glimpse of that harvest. Life being lived to it's fullest. Laughter and love in abundance. Community and celebration at it's best. And it was a gift. 

So the only thing empty on this lovely day was the evening sky. And I can definitely handle that.

Love,

B

{June 1... Morning.}

So I went about .500 for my May challenge. My goal was to post every single day... I succeeded 16 out of 31 days. Not the greatest record of all time, but I'd say my first attempt was not too shabby. I have a fresh, new challenge for June. I am going to use the "photo a day" challenge from Fat Mum Slim as inspiration for my daily posts {feel free to join me and play along}. Who knows what will show up in these posts. They might be image-based. The prompts might lead me on some wild stream of consciousness. We will just go where the wind blows us. Let's start strong with June 1st.

Morning.

It is 7:37PM and nowhere near morning. When I saw this prompt, the first thought I had was, "Darn, I guess I won't have anything to contribute today." But the second was this:

It is a desktop background from Kelli Trontel's blog. You can download it for free here.

I took advantage of her desktop background offer last month, too, when I saw it on my sweet friend, Meredith's, blog. My computer displayed this image for the month of May:

I love that Kelli offers these beautiful images. I stare at my computer screen for hours every day and it is delightful to have something pretty to look at. The quotes have struck a chord with me so far, too. 

"Your big opportunity might be right where you are now."

-Napoleon Hill

That spoke to me in May... and now here we are... it is a new month. June already. Can you believe it? May was a pretty good month and gosh, it was over in the blink of an eye! I have high hopes for June and June's inspirational quote is just that... inspirational. 

"Life itself is a privilege, but to live to the fullest- well, that is a choice."

-Andy Andrews

"He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him."

-1 Thessalonians 5:10

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

-John 10:10

Summer officially starts in June and I have a special place in my heart for summer. Flip flops are well within my comfort zone. Watermelon makes my world a little sweeter. The freckles on my shoulders start to show themselves as soon as the sun touches them. Lightening bugs come out to play. It is a glorious time of year. It's not quite morning, but morning is a beginning and so is this new month. 

So hello, June... and good morning. 

B 

{may.30.}

May 30.

God regularly uses odd methods to get my attention and to encourage me. Today he used two.

This afternoon at lunch, Aaron informed me that from his vantage point, I was more overwhelmed than he had ever seen me. I am sure that in reality I have been far more overwhelmed than I am now- but his words rang true in my heart. 

I learned a long time ago that I process things aloud... but lately I have had so much running through my mind that I've gotten to know my silent side a lot more intimately just to keep my thoughts from escaping and being lost. I am happy and life feels full and satisfying, but there has been a strange grey cloud looming for a while now. For someone who rarely gets headaches, my head has been aching an awful lot recently. I worry, I stress, I get impatient, I snap... and I don't like it. 

Here are a few of the {for the most part exciting} things keeping my hands and mind busy these days: 

.1. Chick-fil-A

.2. Aaron

.3. Trying to be a decent friend to the few I do have

.4. My sister, Sophie, moving in with me for 8 weeks this summer

.5. Having an intern work with me for 10 weeks this summer

.6. Trying desperately to spend time with my sweet small group girls before they go off and leave me

.7. Keeping my apartment in order

.8. Keeping myself {and Rue} fed and watered

.9. Trying to enjoy the warm days of summer that have finally arrived

And if I am completely honest, most days I feel like a failure at all of the above {every single one}. I feel like I am treading water... just barely keeping my head above water.

Aaron was the first way God grabbed my attention. 

Pinterest was the second, and the way He encouraged me and reminded me how much He loves me and is for me.

Refreshing truth. God doesn't expect me to exhaust myself to stay afloat. 

He just wants me to stand on Him. My Rock. 

Thank you, 

B

{may.21.}

Disclaimer:

I am at a loss for words. Literally. 

I am searching for and seeking motivation, discipline, consistency, and inspiration. 

If you have found the secret to any of the above, please, do share. Thank you in advance. 

May 21.

Last week felt extra long and pretty darn stressful to be honest. People talk about the "weight of the world" being on their shoulders and I think I caught a little glimpse of what that might feel like. I felt like every day added more to my plate, so much that I felt incapable of doing anything with excellence. And gosh, that is a frustrating feeling! This weekend I was headed to Rockbridge with 20 high school kids and 4 of my YL teammates- so I decided for my sanity I needed to take a little "mental health day" before embarking on that adventure. Aaron didn't have to go to work until 2, so we packed a picnic lunch and found a grassy little spot down by the river about 100 yards from my front door. It was so refreshing to sit in the sunshine and enjoy a few moments to breathe deeply and calmly. 

God's promises are good. He knows just what I need and he provides it at the perfect time, 

in His perfect way. I am grateful. 

"I will satisfy the priests with abundance, 

and my people will be filled with my bounty, declares the Lord... 

I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint."

Jeremiah 31:14, 25

Amen,

B

{may.16.}

May 16. 

Sunday was Mother's Day. But sadly the 107 miles between us meant I didn't get to celebrate with my mama. {The disadvantages to living two hours from home.} So, even though the holiday has passed, I thought I'd give everyone a {quite accurate} little glimpse into our relationship:

{What do you think... am I my mother's child??}

When I was in middle and high school I was a punk. I'm sure my mom wondered daily where she had gone wrong. But let's just say I was a late bloomer and it took me a little while to figure out who I was and just how good I really had it. 

"Train a child in the way she should go, 

and when she is old she will not turn from it."

Proverbs 22:6

Now that I'm "old," I see what a gift my mom is. I see and understand that who I am today has so much to do with who she is. She is the reason I understand forgiveness {because she always forgave me}. She is the reason I spend my money wisely {and the reason I have a passion for thrifting}. She gave me my love of letter-writing {I still have so many of the sweet notes she left me over the years}. She is one source of the creativity I hold so dear to my heart. She shows me consistently what it looks like to step out in boldness, to speak my mind confidently {thanks for that one, mama}- and when I do those things with gentleness and grace I know it is because of her example. 

"Your beauty... should be that of your inner self, 

the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

1 Peter 3:3a, 4

Mom, that describes you in a nutshell {well, I'm not so sure about the "quiet" part}. 

You did a good job. A very good job. Thank you. 

Love, 

B

{may.14.}

May 14.

Today we walked in the rain. And it was dreary. 

But I am trying to learn the lesson that sometimes what seems ugly at first is actually quite beautiful. This building is the perfect example of what that might look like. At first glance it's falling down  and overgrown and purposeless. But if you take a second look the shape catches your eye and the colors are vivid. It was something lovely to look at and I was glad to capture a photograph of it. 

That's kind of how I feel about the rain tonight. It rained practically nonstop all day, and by the end of the day I was done. Done with grey, done with damp... just done. But then the deluge started. The sky opened up and the sound was musical and the night turned magical. 

I will exalt you, O Lord,

 for you lifted me out of the depths 

and did not let my enemies gloat over me. 

O Lord my God, I called to you for help

 and you healed me.

O Lord, you brought me up from the grave;

you spared me from going down into the pit. 

Sing to the Lord, you saints of his;

praise his holy name.

For his anger lasts only a moment,

but his favor lasts a lifetime;

weeping may remain for a night,

but rejoicing comes in the morning...

To you, O Lord, I called; 

to the Lord I cried for mercy...

Hear O, Lord, and be merciful to me;

O Lord, be my help.

You turned my wailing into dancing; 

you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. 

O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.

Psalm 30: 1-4, 8, 10-12

I'm going to end my night by enjoying the sound of the rain splashing outside my window. 

It really is the little things. 

Thankfully, 

B

{may.13.}

May 13.

Yesterday was a busy day. That's my excuse for blowing it. That's my excuse for missing day 12 of my challenge. But yesterday was also a lot of fun. I have been going to my home group for the past 9 months and it has been a blessing to be part of such a special group of people for this season of my life. This weekend we ended the semester with a cookout by the river. It was so nice to sit around the campfire with good food and good friends. Almost everyone was able to make it so we had lots of people to catch up with and lots of little kids running around the yard {and falling in the river}. Our music minister and his wife were kind enough to open up their home {well.. backyard} to us and John took the little kids on canoe rides to their hearts' delight.

{Floating down the South River.}

Needless to say, it was my last priority to hurry home just to post about the cookout on my blog. Instead, I chose to sit and enjoy the evening with my friends while the sun set around us. 

"So I commend the enjoyment of life, 

because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. 

Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life 

God has given him under the sun."

Ecclesiastes 8:15

Happily, 

B

{may.11.}

May 11. 

I didn't have much inspiration today, so I thought I'd share some of the pretty flowers I get to look at and enjoy every day. The peonies are on the mantle in my living room and the ranunculus sit on my table at work. Flowers really do make my days so much brighter. Honestly they could be weeds from the side of the road and I'd get excited about them. 

Beautiful.

{peonies}

{ranunculus}

Have a beautiful weekend. 

Love, 

B