Seasons

Lately I have been painfully aware of regret in my life.

There are a lot of times that it threatens to overwhelm me;

I get to this scary place where I start to feel 'too far gone'

and I almost believe the lie that I'm close to breaking one too many rules and being deemed hopeless.

One of my favorite worship songs comes from Psalm 130;

here are a few of the lyrics that hit me hard and lightened my burden tonight as we worshipped at leadership-

"Though great our sins and sore our woes

His grace much more aboundeth;

His helping love no limit knows,

Our upmost need it soundeth."

-'Psalm 130'

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life,

neither angels nor demons,

neither the present nor the future,

nor any powers, neither height nor depth,

nor anything else in all creation,

will be able to separate us from the love of God

that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:38-39

It is a glorious impossibility that I will ever be too broken,

too messed up, or too far gone for God's abounding grace and helping love!

"How fickle my heart

and how woozy my eyes

I struggle to find any truth in your lies

and now my heart stumbles on things I don't know

this weakness I feel I must finally show."

-'Awake My Soul,' Mumford & Sons

Sometimes it becomes hard to decipher the truth from the lies, but I think that the haziness-

the doubt and wondering- comes in part from life's changing seasons.

We travel through seasons in our lives, and God not only allows them,

but he recognizes them and their purpose.

"There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven."

Ecclesiastes 3:1

I have walked through some really beautiful seasons, and I have trudged through some really gross ones-

and although those dry seasons are absolutely not the full life God intends for us,

I don't believe for one minute that he will use them any less for his glory.

And God. Is. Good.

"And we know that in all things

God works for the good of those who love him,

who have been called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:28

I think that 'fickle' is the perfect word to describe us.

We bring upon ourselves so many of these 'seasons' with our "fickle hearts,"

and yet I had the most incredible experience with the seasons a few weekends ago

and it gives me great hope for what the Lord is capable of doing in and in spite of me.

We got back from Fall Weekend at Rockbridge and instead of curling up on my couch

and crashing for the rest of the day like my body was begging me to do-

Taylor and I decided to pack a lunch and drive up on the parkway to take advantage of the beautiful fall afternoon.

It felt like we drove forever (way past the overlooks I found on my last drive on the parkway),

but the discoveries along the way were so worth it.

The scenery was breathtaking. The hours were adventurous.

The friendship and laughter was such a picture of the fullness that love brings to life.

And then we drove further- and found 'Love Gap' and apple trees!!

I am learning left and right that there will be glorious days like this one-

warm, full, and wonderful with adventures and pretty scenery-

and there will be awful, gray, rainy ones that seem to last for years (and sometimes literally do)-

but the truth is that God never changes and I am his.

Forever.

His love knows no limit and his grace aboundeth!

"I, the Lord, do not change..."

Malachi 3:6

He is steady and oh, how he loves us!

B