It's been a season- a pretty tough season lately. But I know those are the times I grow the most. Always. I was reading the other day and my team was heavy on my heart. The Lord brought his words into my mind and opened the pages of my Bible to just the right passages (funny how he does that...over and over and over....)!
"If a house is divided against itself,
that house can not stand."
Mark 3:25
No ifs, ands, or buts about it!
That's just how it is- plain and simple, I think Jesus makes himself pretty darn clear. And yet how often have I believed with all of my heart that I can do it best alone... or at least that I have no other choice but to try? Wrong.
Our team verse this past year was-
"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement
give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus,
so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Romans 15:5-6
Unity.
Such a foreign concept.
One that I usually think is impossible, at least for me. And a concept that is even harder for me to fathom as I sit in Waynesboro apart from the rest of my team as they lead our camp trip at Saranac Village in New York. How can there be unity when I am separate?
But then God whispered goodness into my listening ear--
"Look at the nations and watch-
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe,
even if you were told."
Habbakuk 1:5
I would not believe what God has planned even if I were told...
"However, as it is written: 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him'"
1 Corinthians 2:9
-and that's just it- it's HIS plan, not mine!
So I will just ABIDE. Another hard, hard concept (I always related to the lyrics of The War's song "Never the Same," when it says, "I have too much pride to abide"), and yet God promises that it will bring blessing and goodness.
"...and see if I do not throw open the floodgates of heaven
and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."
Malachi 3:10
And so, I'm praying for you, team. See you Saturday!
My after work ritual has become: come home, change out of my Chick attire, and crash on the couch to watch some movie or tv show that has me hooked at the moment (most recently it's been the Biggest Loser... the show brings me to tears every time!). Tonight though, I watched the most recent 20/20 episode about one of my favorite bloggers, Stephanie Nielson. (I have blogged about Stephanie before, here.)
As I watched the episode, I was struck by just how happy Stephanie is and just how much joy you can see in her entire family. Throughout the whole show the theme of hope is repeated over and over again. It is inspiring. And it hit me, how can a person who has been through so much trauma and tragedy be so full of joy and life and here I am, sitting miserably on my couch day after day, day-dreaming about the life that I would like to live one day but not doing anything about it? For once, the thought hit me in the face as completely and totally absurd.
As I watched the computer screen, the sky outside my windows turned from grey to slate and right as the show ended, the sky opened up and let loose. I haven't seen it rain that hard in a while- and something inside of me itched to get out. I hurried for a sweatshirt and stepped outside to watch the sheets of rain fall from the shelter of my porch. And then I wanted to be in the rainstorm. So I grabbed my rain jacket and ran to my car for a quick trip to the grocery store. I was completely soaked within two steps of the front door, but by the time I was in my dry car I was laughing.
It took the freezing cold rain running down my face and squishing through my toes to wake me up and bring me to my senses. I was created for full life- and that full life can not be found watching someone else live it on the Biggest Loser or 20/20, and it can't be discovered by reading about other peoples' adventures in books or on blogs. (Gosh, that sounds so obvious, but it's honestly a realization I'm just coming to.) I'm going through a bit of a storm right now, but tonight's thunder storm reminded me just how beautiful they can be because of the hope that I rest in. The hope that I am not lost or forsaken. But that I am loved and cherished.
"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;
perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned;
struck down, but not destroyed."
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
"For you are a people holy to the Lord your God.
The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people,
his treasured possession."
Deuteronomy 7:6
I was sure by now God You would have reached down And wiped our tears away Stepped in and saved the day But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls I barely hear Your whisper through the rain "I'm with you" And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives And takes away And I'll praise You in this storm And I will lift my hands For You are who You are No matter where I am And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand You never left my side And though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind You heard my cry to you And you raised me up again My strength is almost gone How can I carry on If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain "I'm with you" And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives And takes away I lift my eyes unto the hills Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord The Maker of Heaven and Earth
-"Praise You In This Storm," Casting Crowns
May there be many more life giving rain storms to remind me that I am not only alive, but that my days were created to be full of life... because there is absolutely a difference.
Amen.
B
PS I couldn't resist- here's an oldie but goodie (:
Let's go back Back to the beginning Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned
'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect Trying to fit a square into a circle Was no life I defy
Let the rain fall down And wake my dreams Let it wash away My sanity 'Cause I wanna feel the thunder I wanna scream Let the rain fall down I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean
I'm shedding Shedding every color Trying to find a pigment of truth Beneath my skin
'Cause different Doesn't feel so different And going out is better Than always staying in Feel the wind
The more I learn about myself, the more aware I become of the fact that it does not take much to thrill me. It doesn't take a lot to make me happy and there is no telling what I might stumble on that does the trick- that's usually how it happens: I happen upon something that surprises and wows me and makes me thankful to be exactly where I am in that moment. What a great feeling. One of the very biggest highlights of my Portland trip (and no... we're not talking about the fact that it was two months ago, thank you very much) came near the end of one of the longest nights of my life-
8:30pm: Said my goodbyes to Erica's housemates and headed to the bus stop with my large purple suitcase in tow (avoiding those darn worms the whole way- ew).
9:30ishpm: We hopped on the bus headed for the Portland International Airport (you may be asking yourself: why does Portland have an international airport... answer: who the heck knows?!)
10:35pm: We FINALLY got to the airport (the last time I checked, my plane was supposed to leave at 11pm so I was getting a little nervous by that point)
10:40pm: Said my goodbyes- bittersweet. I love those girls dearly, but I had been away from home for 8 days at this point and was definitely ready to sleep in my own bed!
10:45pm: Stood in line, nervously watching the clock as I wondered what the heck you do when you actually miss a flight.
10:50pm: Found out that my flight was delayed an hour and I was officially going to miss my lay over in Detroit and not make it to Richmond by 11am like I was scheduled to. I spent the next 10 minutes frantically calling my parents (at 2am on the east coast) to ask them to pick me up at the Roanoke airport. Thankfully after about three tries, my mom finally answered the phone and agreed to pick me up. I got my new ticket and headed for security.
11:00pm: I made it through security in no time only to sit for an hour waiting for my plane (which I found out later was delayed by a "late crew member." WHAT?! Seriously??) By this point I am so done and what started as an exciting adventure in Atlanta now just feels like one long, drawn out fiasco after another.
12:05am: I boarded my plane.
12:10am: I started frantically praying as my night went from bad to worse and my flight was by far the most turbulent that I have ever experienced. The man next to me was so scared that I was worried he was going to cry- so I felt obligated to keep myself composed as my focus moved from breathing to praying, "God, don't let it hurt when we crash and I die." No joke, I was convinced I was never going to see land again. I don't know if it was because it was a red eye or what, but our pilot did not know what the heck he was doing- that plane did not stop jerking and twisting and dropping the entire 4 hours from Portland to Detroit. But in spite of my fear, I was so exhausted that I finally just curled up in my seat and fell asleep.
7:15am: We landed in Detroit. Alive.
7:30am: I decided I deserved a reward, so I visited Starbucks in the airport and began making my way to my next gate.
8:00am: My morning started looking up when I stumbled upon this--
Awesome.
The absolute highlight of my trip home. I had heard about this tunnel that connects the terminals in the Detroit airport, but in all the craziness I had forgotten all about it until I found myself standing in it. I was thrilled! Immediately my mood was lifted and the feeling of adventure was back.
9:00am: I couldn't help it, I had to walk through the tunnel one more time, so I picked up my stuff and retraced my steps for one last glimpse. (Okay, technically I went through it two more times.)
9:30am: I boarded the plane for the final leg of my trip. The plane headed for home. This was a much smoother flight (and much quicker).
Before I knew it, I was flying over some very familiar mountains into the Roanoke valley.
11:30am: I got off the plane, made my way out of the terminal (all 8 gates of it) and found my dad waiting for me on the other side of security. Finally. Even at 22, after a night like that, it was an enormous relief to see him standing there and to know that I could sit back and let him take the reins for a while.
"So I commend the enjoyment of life,
because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad.
Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun."
Ecclesiastes 8:15
"...I have come that they may have life,
and have it to the full."
John 10:10
Life is full of thrills- some are right in front of us and obvious while others are hiding just around the corner (or in an airport tunnel). But God has good in store for us. So, so much good!
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you as well."
Matthew 6:33
It makes me think of the song from Mary Poppins (I know, sometimes the most random things pop into my head!)--
"Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height!
Let's go fly a kite and send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite!"
We've been given this incredible adventure to live! Let's not settle for anything less than the "highest height"! Because it has been graciously given to us.
"He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--
how will he not also, along with him graciously give us all things?"
The first time I heard this song I felt an overwhelming sense of comfort. Third Day is one of my all time favorite bands- I've seen them in concert, I have all of their songs memorized- the makings of a true fan right here. So one day when I wanted to hear the song, I searched for it on Youtube and stumbled across the "official music video." Oh.My.Goodness. Goosebumps invaded my skin and I realized why I feel that consuming, peaceful feeling every time I hear the song.
It's about me.
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us,
that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"
1 John 3:1
Praise to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ
Our God and our King, to Him we will sing
In His great mercy He has given us life
Now we can be called the children of God
Great is the love that the Father has given us
He has delivered us, well, He has delivered us
Children of God, sing your song and rejoice
For the love that He has given us all, oh, whoa
Children of God, by the blood of His Son
We have been redeemed and we can be called
Children of God
Children of God
Your mystery is revealed to the universe
The Father above has proven His love
Now we are free from the judgement that we deserve
So we are called the children of God
Great is the love that the Father has given us
He has delivered us, He has delivered us
...
We are the saints, we are the children, we've been redeemed, we've been forgiven
We are the sons and daughters of our God
We are the saints, we are the children, we've been redeemed, we've been forgiven
We are the sons and daughters of our God
...
-'Children of God,' Third Day
My small group is reading Hosea right now and this morning we read this verse--
"Yet the Israelites will be like the sand on the seashore,
which cannot be measured or counted.
In the place where it was said to them, 'You are not my people,'
they will be called 'sons of the living God.'"
Hosea 1:10
That is our story. That is who we were and that is who we are and whose we are.
"This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my savior all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my savior all the day long."
-'Blessed Assurance,' Frances J. Crosby
"Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name,
he gave the right to become children of God--"
John 1:12
What a beautiful, beautiful thing.
We are so incredibly loved and He has such good planned for us. Let us never forget it.
