Let the rain fall

My after work ritual has become: come home, change out of my Chick attire, and crash on the couch to watch some movie or tv show that has me hooked at the moment (most recently it's been the Biggest Loser... the show brings me to tears every time!). Tonight though, I watched the most recent 20/20 episode about one of my favorite bloggers, Stephanie Nielson. (I have blogged about Stephanie before, here.)

As I watched the episode, I was struck by just how happy Stephanie is and just how much joy you can see in her entire family. Throughout the whole show the theme of hope is repeated over and over again. It is inspiring. And it hit me, how can a person who has been through so much trauma and tragedy be so full of joy and life and here I am, sitting miserably on my couch day after day, day-dreaming about the life that I would like to live one day but not doing anything about it? For once, the thought hit me in the face as completely and totally absurd.

As I watched the computer screen, the sky outside my windows turned from grey to slate and right as the show ended, the sky opened up and let loose. I haven't seen it rain that hard in a while- and something inside of me itched to get out. I hurried for a sweatshirt and stepped outside to watch the sheets of rain fall from the shelter of my porch. And then I wanted to be in the rainstorm. So I grabbed my rain jacket and ran to my car for a quick trip to the grocery store. I was completely soaked within two steps of the front door, but by the time I was in my dry car I was laughing.

It took the freezing cold rain running down my face and squishing through my toes to wake me up and bring me to my senses. I was created for full life- and that full life can not be found watching someone else live it on the Biggest Loser or 20/20, and it can't be discovered by reading about other peoples' adventures in books or on blogs. (Gosh, that sounds so obvious, but it's honestly a realization I'm just coming to.) I'm going through a bit of a storm right now, but tonight's thunder storm reminded me just how beautiful they can be because of the hope that I rest in. The hope that I am not lost or forsaken. But that I am loved and cherished.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;

perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned;

struck down, but not destroyed."

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

"For you are a people holy to the Lord your God.

The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people,

his treasured possession."

Deuteronomy 7:6

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

-"Praise You In This Storm," Casting Crowns

May there be many more life giving rain storms to remind me that I am not only alive, but that my days were created to be full of life... because there is absolutely a difference.

Amen.

B

PS I couldn't resist- here's an oldie but goodie (:

Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned

'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no life
I defy

Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean

I'm shedding
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin

'Cause different
Doesn't feel so different
And going out is better
Than always staying in
Feel the wind

...

Let's go back
Back to the beginning

-"Come Clean," Hilary Duff