I actually wrote this post over a year ago {silly me erased the actual date}. And while I'm not in the same emotionally drained and sad state that I was in when I wrote this, I do still feel the same about the winter dragging on too darn long and I do feel the same about my sweet Aaron.. who beautifully went from m'boyfriend to my fiancé since these words were first written. Seems fitting to share it now, in this fresh, new season. So here ya go!
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My heart has been having a rough time here lately. It's a dreaded occurrence, but not a foreign one. It tends to come when the winter lingers a little too long-- my freckles have nearly faded and the tops of my shoulders start to forget what it feels like to be kissed by the sun. I've been spending most of my days alone and while I can't say I'm enjoying myself, I can say that I'm getting a private lesson in Bethany 101. I've had a lot of time to think lately. I've been doing a lot of reflecting on life and decided for a minute to focus on one of the blessings of this season instead of a disappointment.
I thought I'd share a story that I think really speaks volumes about this guy I've decided to spend my days with. If I had to describe Aaron in one word it would be servant. And I am so grateful.
The other day A. and I weren't having the greatest day {okay, I'm sure it was more like I was having a bad day and decided I didn't want to keep it all to myself so I dragged him into it with me}. We hadn't been communicating very well and it was taking a toll. We probably weren't being very nice to each other and it probably wasn't the first time. I was sitting on the couch with A. beside me, distracted by my own thoughts, when I felt him get up and leave the room. He came back a few minutes later with a bowl of warm water, soap, and a towel. He looked me in the eye, sat on the floor in front of me, took off my socks, and began washing my feet. To some of you that probably sounds weird, to others who know Jesus, it sounds just like it was: beautiful.
"It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world,
he now showed them the full extent of his love.
he now showed them the full extent of his love.
Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. 'Do you understand what I have done for you?' he asked them. 'You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."
John 13:1, 3-5, 12-17
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And that's where my last post stopped. But friends, that boy is still just as much of a servant today as he was then. And I'm convinced that saying "I do" will only cement that feeling in his heart and those actions in his hands. He is such an example to me and I am so grateful to call him mine.
"Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord...
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..."
Ephesians 5:22, 25
It is so (SO) easy for me to get stubborn and say, "Psh... I don't want to submit to anyone!!" But if I'm honest with myself, the calling God has given to Aaron is so much harder than the one he's given to me. Because another way I look at it is God is asking Aaron to love and serve me and he's just asking me to let him. Whew! Just when I didn't think I could get any more thankful for grace, I write a sentence like that! Why is it so dang hard to let people love us?! Thankful for the grace to keep figuring that one out!
(Photo cred: Meredith Sledge Photography)
On December 1st Aaron got down on one knee and when I look back on that moment, it makes me remember the very significant moment I shared above. In both moments Aaron lowered himself to elevate me and showed me a beautiful picture of the gospel. So humbled that he chose me to be his wife.
184 days to go babe, and I cannot wait!!
B
