If I had a dollar for every time I got the question: 'So, what do you want to do?' I would never have to get a job at all! I get that question over and over from well-meaning people who genuinely want to help. But nonetheless it is a question that makes me feel twitchy and nervous because I just don't have an answer.
So I started pondering this question on my own time and not just with that deer-in-the-headlights look when confronted with it in front of an audience. What do I want to do? What draws me in? What gives me life and meaning and purpose? What gives me joy instead of taking joy away? And here is what I came up with:
I want to work with beautiful things. I want to spend my days in beautiful places with beautiful people, beautiful flowers, beautiful food, or beautiful materials...
Very general, yes, but I realized that is what's important to me. I feel God most near when I am shown his beauty in detail. Nothing that I see is accidental- it was all purposed to show me that God is beautiful and that he loves me dearly. So I want to spend my days immersed in that beauty somehow. One day I hope that can be lived out surrounded by the beauty of my own kids- keeping a beautiful house, preparing beautiful meals, and creating beautiful memories with a beautiful husband and our beautiful family. But I'm not there yet- so in the meantime, what job will bless me with a glimpse of that same joy and purpose today?
I'm still working through that one... so I'll wait.
"You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of dust..." -Gungor
If I trust God, he can make even the dustiest, dirtiest things beautiful for me and so I'll be patient {or at least I'll pray for patience}. And while I wait it out, I will find comfort in knowing that.
Blessings,
B
